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what it's really like when your husband runs off with your best friend


as i saw lisa armstrong tweet of the agony she felt when she discovered her estranged husband, tv presenter ant mcpartlin, had begun a relationship with her friend, tears began running down my cheeks. it's a pain i know only too well, as a few months ago, i found myself in that exact same situation.just as i imagine lisa would have with anne-marie corbett, the friend and personal assistant to mcpartlin with whom he has since become romantically involved, i thought nothing of introducing maria to my husband and inviting her into our home. we became fast friends, and i did not for one minute suspect that this friend of mine, my confidante, would end up entering into a relationship with my other half. she had been privy to my innermost thoughts and knew the intimacies of our marriage like no.






ask amy: spouse struggles to forgive husband’s friend


dear amy: my husband recently confessed to me that he was unfaithful four years ago.we had a great life, or so i thought. i was completely devastated and contemplated leaving him, but i was pregnant with our fifth child. now i see him making changes to live an honest life.i am trying every day to forgive him.the problem is that he told his best friend about the affair at the time.this friend, who is a pastor, stood up in our wedding and spent time with our family several times during the affair period.he chose not to tell me, nor did he “force” my husband to confess to me.we are people of faith, where forgiveness is something to live by, but i am having a hard time forgiving this man for keeping my husband’s lie a secret.this friend has apologized to me. he reached out to me soon aft...






carolyn hax: fishing for feedback about a partner


carolyn hax is away. the following is from june 29, 2003.dear carolyn: i have a friend who came out of the closet and moved from a creepy husband (alcohol, crawly hands, very parental, controlling) straight to a live-in girlfriend with a similar personality. it’s kind of like the husband had a sex change. i know that what my friend goes for is not my business, even if it makes me worry. but lately, every time i see her, she asks me if i like her girlfriend. and since i don’t, i’ve evaded the question or lied outright. i don’t think i should insult my friend’s girlfriend. but now she’s reminded me that her friends never liked her husband, either, and didn’t say so until after she’d broken up with him; she’d never have stayed with him if she’d been given honest feedback....






carolyn hax: attend weird neighbor’s party, for children’s sake


adapted from a recent online discussion.hi, carolyn: my husband and i were friends with another couple who lives in the neighborhood. several years ago, the wife stopped speaking to us. i have no idea what prompted her behavior. i tried reaching out, but she never responded. i asked a mutual friend and she was equally confused. her husband will make small talk, if we’re passing by, but i’ve never asked him what happened. my husband and i are not comfortable with confrontation, so we just let it go.our kids are nearly the same age and often play together. my former friend still doesn’t speak to my husband or me, unless there are other parents around and then she’ll make small talk.last week, she emailed to invite our kid to her kid’s birthday party. my husband and i don’t know w...






carolyn hax: attend weird neighbor’s party, for children’s sake


adapted from a recent online discussion.hi, carolyn: my husband and i were friends with another couple who lives in the neighborhood. several years ago, the wife stopped speaking to us. i have no idea what prompted her behavior. i tried reaching out, but she never responded. i asked a mutual friend and she was equally confused. her husband will make small talk, if we’re passing by, but i’ve never asked him what happened. my husband and i are not comfortable with confrontation, so we just let it go.our kids are nearly the same age and often play together. my former friend still doesn’t speak to my husband or me, unless there are other parents around and then she’ll make small talk.last week, she emailed to invite our kid to her kid’s birthday party. my husband and i don’t know w...






gab session with gal pal leaves wife feeling hurt


dear abby: my husband and i have been married for 35 years. my husband has good friends who are women, and i have never objected when he stayed with them when he traveled from our home to michigan.one of the women he stays with called, and they talked for hours. that's not right, is it? my husband says she's just a good friend, and it's only conversation. i don't believe it's sexual, but a long conversation hurts me more because i thought i was his best friend.i told him, "let's get counseling. if it doesn't work, we can divorce." he said, "you're not going to stop me from talking to my friends."abby, i need your opinion. leery in floridadear leery: whatever is going on, you and your husband are having a communication problem. instead of raising the subject of divorce, it may b...






dalit woman accuses estranged husband’s friend of rape: police


by: pti | shahjahanpur | published:november 3, 2017 8:57 pmtop newsa 40-year-old dalit woman has charged her estranged husband’s friend of raping her for five years in the kotwali police station area in shahjahanpur. sp (city) dinesh tripathi on friday said the woman had accused her husband’s friend rajnish gupta of raping her.the woman had been living separately from her husband in the kanshi ram colony in shahjahanpur for the last five years, following differences with him, he added. she had alleged that gupta initially assured her that he would work out a settlement between the couple but subsequently, took advantage of the situation and started frequenting her place with a promise of marrying her, the sp said, adding that the accused allegedly went back on his words after the...






why i moved in with my best friend and her family


the author, at left, with their best friend sarah, far right, and sarah’s daughter, bella. (photo courtesy of alex difrancesco)when sarah, my childhood best friend, bought her house in rural ohio, she called to tell me that it was not just her, her husband and her baby who had a place to call theirs forever, but that it was mine as well. i found it heartwarming in the way i’d found her telling her husband — when he asked her to marry him — that she would be his wife, but he had to respect that she already had the role of best friend filled.while sarah’s declaration meant a great deal to me, it also seemed purely hypothetical. i was living in new york city with my then-wife. we were recently married and we were transitioning genders together. our lives were urban and bohemian: we...






why i moved in with my best friend and her family


the author, at left, with her best friend sarah, far right, and sarah’s daughter, bella. (photo courtesy of alex difrancesco)when sarah, my childhood best friend, bought her house in rural ohio, she called to tell me that it was not just her, her husband and her baby who had a place to call theirs forever, but that it was mine as well. i found it heartwarming in the way i’d found her telling her husband — when he asked her to marry him — that she would be his wife, but he had to respect that she already had the role of best friend filled.while sarah’s declaration meant a great deal to me, it also seemed purely hypothetical. i was living in new york city with my then-wife. we were recently married and we were transitioning genders together. our lives were urban and bohemian: we b...






wife opposes husband's plan to donate sperm to friend


dear abby: two years ago, i married a kind, hardworking man i'll call "travis." i couldn't imagine a better husband. however, i just got some news i feel is threatening our marriage.travis' childhood friend "bethany" wants to start a family with her wife. travis agreed to donate his sperm so bethany can become pregnant. i feel betrayed. my husband will be starting a family with his friend before we have kids! i feel like he's cheating on me.when i told him how i felt, he said i was being selfish and it was his decision. he also said it wouldn't matter because he isn't going to help raise the child. does travis really have the right to donate sperm without my consent? if so, how do i suppress my anger toward him and bethany? fuming in the midwestdear fuming: you are asking intelli...






draw a hard line now with old friend’s overzealous spouse


hi, carolyn: i recently reconnected with a very good friend from college. she has worked hard to bring our whole gang of college friends together and it has been fun . . . except, her husband has started to annoy me. he messages me every single day wanting to know how my day went, whether i had dinner and lunch! he finds some flimsy excuse, like wanting my professional opinion on something.i initially thought he was hitting on me and ignored his texts, but he was persistent, saying he just feels a good friendship is in the making and wanted to be friends with his “wifey’s” friend.am i overthinking or is my hunch right? i have made it very clear i am committed to my husband and family. i am tired of his daily texts. blocking him might spoil my friendship with my dear friend, plus she ...






dear abby: wife feels betrayed as husband plans to donate sperm to a friend


dear abby: two years ago, i married a kind, hard-working man i’ll call travis. these two years have been the best of my life, and i couldn’t imagine a better husband. however, i just got some news i feel is threatening our marriage. travis’ friend from childhood, “bethany,” wants to start a family with her wife. travis informed me that he agreed to donate his sperm to bethany so she can become pregnant. i feel betrayed. my husband will be starting a family with his friend before we have kids! it may seem irrational, but i feel like he’s cheating on me. when i told him how i felt, he said i was being selfish and it was his decision. he also said it wouldn’t matter because he isn’t going to help raise the child. does travis really have the right to donate his sperm without my...






dear abby: wife feels betrayed as husband plans to donate sperm to a friend


dear abby: two years ago, i married a kind, hard-working man i’ll call travis. these two years have been the best of my life, and i couldn’t imagine a better husband. however, i just got some news i feel is threatening our marriage. travis’ friend from childhood, “bethany,” wants to start a family with her wife. travis informed me that he agreed to donate his sperm to bethany so she can become pregnant. i feel betrayed. my husband will be starting a family with his friend before we have kids! it may seem irrational, but i feel like he’s cheating on me. when i told him how i felt, he said i was being selfish and it was his decision. he also said it wouldn’t matter because he isn’t going to help raise the child. does travis really have the right to donate his sperm without my...






dear abby: long gab session with gal pal leaves wife feeling hurt


dear abby: i have been married 35 years. my husband has good friends who are women, and i have never objected when he stayed with them on trips to michigan. one of the women called and they talked for hours. my husband says she’s just a good friend. i don’t believe it’s a sexual thing, but a long conversation hurts me more because i thought i was his best friend. i told him, “let’s get counseling. if it doesn’t work, we can divorce.” he said, “you’re not going to stop me from talking to my friends.” leery in floridadear leery: it may be time for you to get marriage counseling, alone if he won’t go. your husband should be able to talk to his friends. for you to tell him otherwise makes you look more like his jailer. some mediation may help you feel less threatened. dea...






ask amy: long-ago sexual assault haunts friendship


dear amy: my husband and i have been friends with another couple for 40 years. we get together socially, vacation together, visit each other’s homes in different states, etc.my problem is that now it is very difficult for me to be with the female friend because of something that happened in the early ’90s. i thought that i had been able to put the incident out of my mind; but now i am finding that it is bothering me to the point that i cannot bear to talk to the friend, be with her, etc.the incident that happened involved her father, a minister. in the early ’90s, my husband went with our friends to visit her parents in their home state. my friend’s father took a group of us on a tour of the huge, beautiful, historic church where he had been a minister for many years.as the group d...






ask amy: stay-at-home mom resents babysitting requests


dear amy: i’m a young sahm (stay-at-home mom) of a 5-month-old baby. my husband and i worked hard to budget, pay off debt and cut expenses before our baby was born.i’m the only mom in my friend group who stays home, and recently i’ve been getting asked to babysit (free) quite frequently.one friend asked me well in advance to drive across town to pick their daughter up from school two days in a row and watch her until they got home.i agreed, knowing that the child care they had lined up had fallen through.under those circumstances, i was happy to help.a week later, that same friend is asking me to watch their child for an entire day because she works and her husband has made other plans.i really don’t want to do it, but feel bad knowing that i have no excuse. i just don’t want to....






wife says she was 'asleep' while friend poisoned husband with cyanide, court tol


a woman accused of murdering her husband told police she was asleep beside him while her friend allegedly poured cyanide-laced orange juice down his throat, a court has heard.sofia sam, 32, told police that she could not wake sam abraham the morning after he was poisoned on october 14, 2015, the supreme court heard on wednesday. sofia sam, who is accused of murdering her husband, is led into the supreme court on wednesday. photo: joe armao police have charged ms sam and her friend, referred to as ak, with working together to sedate and fatally poison mr abraham.she cried as details of his alleged murder were read out in court during her unsuccessful application for bail.police covertly recorded ak saying in a phone conversation that he broke into the couple's epping home on the nigh...






before you diagnose your sister-in-law’s issues, be a friend


q: my husband's sister is expecting her first child in the next few months. this seems to be really important to her husband, and my in-laws are over the moon. the thing is, i'm 98 percent sure that she doesn't and never has wanted children. she has seemed ambivalent throughout the pregnancy and appears to be depressed and isolated. i worry that when the baby comes, the disconnect will only be greater. new motherhood is isolating and exhausting, her husband works long hours, and her mother can be overwhelming. neither my husband nor i are very close to his sister, but i worry about her. any suggestions on how to support her in those difficult early days?a: one of the most important realizations over the past couple of years is how pervasive and real depression is, especially among pren...






dear abby: woman cast out of social group tempted to seek revenge


by jeanne phillips updated 9:11 am, monday, may 15, 2017 photo: stewart cohen, getty images a woman is upset that her friend will no longer speak to her.a woman is upset that her friend will no longer speak to her.dear abby: my friend has decided she can no longer tolerate my husband. she feels he doesn’t “respect” her. this is far from the truth, in my mind. we have supported her emotionally and financially from time to time for many years. my husband does have a habit of making clunky jokes (anything for a laugh or to fill the void). but a real friend should see beyond that to the loving, supportive person he is at his core, in his heart, and forgive. we are now banned from her social group. i find this very harsh — cruel even. i guess my friendship doesn






miss manners: acknowledge friend’s generosity, but dial back the drama


by judith martin, nicholas martin and jacobina martinby judith martin, nicholas martin and jacobina martinapril 21 at 12:00 amdear miss manners: my closest friend, who is 23 years my senior and does not have children of her own, has shared with me on my recent birthday that she and her second husband have included me in their will. i've been told that i will be receiving one-fourth of their estate — an equal share to her husband's three children.first, i have discovered with this announcement that the thought of losing my best friend is utterly heartbreaking. wrapping my creative mind around her not being in my life has been a journey in itself.i have already begun a small grieving process, as well as shoring my strength for speaking at her funeral. preparation, i know, is healthy, bui...






rayney friend 'wanted to protect her memory'


corryn rayney's husband, former prominent perth barrister lloyd rayney, was acquitted of her murder. a friend of murder victim corryn rayney has told her husband's defamation trial he initially did not tell police his relationship with her went beyond a "kiss and cuddle" out of respect, rather than to avoid being a person of interest in her death.ervin vukelic, who had coffee dates with ms rayney, testified in the wa supreme court on tuesday about their relationship, which he said involved kissing and cuddling but never sex."i was close to her but it was more as a best friend than as a lover," he said in his statement.mr rayney's lawyer martin bennett suggested mr vukelic lied to police, and mr vukelic admitted he "excluded" from his first three statements the extent of thei...






ex-friend cast out of social circle dreams of vengeance


dear abby:my friend has decided she can no longer tolerate my husband. she feels he doesn't "respect" her. this is far from the truth, in my mind.we have supported her emotionally and financially from time to time for many years. my husband does have a habit of making clunky jokes (anything for a laugh or to fill the void). but a real friend should see beyond that to the loving, supportive person he is at his core, in his heart, and forgive.we are now banned from her social group. i'm depressed and angry, and i want some kind of revenge. i was so happy with our little group. advice?(story continues below ... )tossed aside in new yorkdear tossed:yes. rather than seek revenge, tell the woman how hurt you feel after having befriended her all these years. time is our most precious commodit...






miss manners: if carpoolers act like kids, treat them that way


by judith martin, nicholas martin and jacobina martinby judith martin, nicholas martin and jacobina martinnovember 30 at 12:00 amdear miss manners: i pick my friend up from work every night, which i normally do alone. my brother also works there, so normally they fight over who rides shotgun, which i let them figure out.she usually takes front, because she makes such a big deal about it. my brother just gives up. well, tonight my husband also rode with me, and we stopped long enough to get out and talk to a few mutual friends. when getting back into my car, my friend claims shotgun by getting in the passenger seat.my husband was the one driving at that point, so i told her to move. she made a big fuss, so i just sat in the back seat of my own car while she and my husband sat up front. was






wife's private photo album makes its way onto the web


dear abby:six months ago, i asked a close female friend to help me prepare a gift for my husband for our fifth wedding anniversary. i wanted to create a photo album of sexy nude photos of myself. her excellent photography provided me with a wonderful collection, and my husband loved it.i recently found out on social media that my girlfriend's husband viewed and copied my private photos, and shared them online with mutual male friends of ours. i'm devastated. my girlfriend is sorry to the max.my husband isn't yet aware of my exposure to others. i don't want to tell him, but at the same time, i don't want some guy spilling the beans. my girlfriend is helping to stop the sharing of my pictures. should i hope for the best or tell my husband?ashamed in the u.s.a.dear ashamed:inform your hu...






carolyn hax: turning down a friend who invited herself to a birthday celebration


adapted from a recent online discussion.dear carolyn: every year on my birthday, my husband and i do something simple like going to a museum and dinner.i have a friend who is in a long-distance relationship, and i’m not a fan of her boyfriend. she announced that my birthday is when her boyfriend will be visiting next and she wants to double date. she ended the conversation with, “let me know what we’re doing,’’ and has brought it up multiple times since.i want my low-key birthday with my husband, but this is the only day they have free and she is very excited to celebrate together.you’ve talked before about how as adults we need to calm down about our birthdays. do i just suck it up and spend the day with the glass bowl? (nick galifianakis/for the washington post)— reluctant ...






anna faris never thought chris pratt should be her best friend


anna faris believes society's script for a married couple's relationship is in need of some edits. the actress — who recently separated from her longtime spouse chris pratt — explained why she doesn't think a woman's husband has to be her best friend. "i was once told that i didn't need a tight group of girlfriends because chris should be my best friend. but i never bought that," she wrote in a new essay for cosmopolitan. "the idea of your mate being your best friend — it's overhyped. i really believe that your partner serves one purpose and each friend serves another." "the notion of best friends in general is messed up though," she added toward the end. "it puts so much pressure on any one person, when i truly believe it's okay to have intimacy with d...






dear abby: photographer’s husband lets woman’s sexy nude pics loose online


published 12:05 am, wednesday, november 29, 2017 dear abby: six months ago, i asked a close female friend to help me prepare a gift for my husband for our fifth wedding anniversary. i wanted to create a photo album of sexy nude photos of myself. her excellent camerawork provided me with a wonderful collection, and my husband loved it. i recently found out on social media that my girlfriend’s husband viewed and copied my private photos, and shared them online with mutual male friends of ours. i’m devastated. my girlfriend is sorry to the max. my husband isn’t yet aware of my exposure to others. i don’t want to tell him, but at the same time, i don’t want some guy spilling the beans. my girlfriend is helping to stop the sharing of my pictures. should i hope for the best o...






dear abby: photographer’s husband lets woman’s sexy nude pics loose online


published 12:05 am, wednesday, november 29, 2017 dear abby: six months ago, i asked a close female friend to help me prepare a gift for my husband for our fifth wedding anniversary. i wanted to create a photo album of sexy nude photos of myself. her excellent camerawork provided me with a wonderful collection, and my husband loved it. i recently found out on social media that my girlfriend’s husband viewed and copied my private photos, and shared them online with mutual male friends of ours. i’m devastated. my girlfriend is sorry to the max. my husband isn’t yet aware of my exposure to others. i don’t want to tell him, but at the same time, i don’t want some guy spilling the beans. my girlfriend is helping to stop the sharing of my pictures. should i hope for the best o...






how do i tell my 6-year-old that the man he knows as ‘mama’s friend’ is really m


(istock)most parents have a skeleton or two in the closet. mine just happens be an ex-husband. long before i met my current one, karl, there was matt, a funny and bighearted guy from ossining, n.y. we were together for five years, most of them spent in couples counseling, yet miraculously parted as friends. more than a decade later, matt and i still get together for lunch or to poke around at estate sales. when my mother died, matt was one of the first people i called.karl knows all about our friendship and has even met matt, a profoundly uncomfortable moment for everyone involved.  my 6-year-old son has met matt, too. to leo, he’s just “mama’s friend matt,” not someone with whom i once shared a home and bank account. leo’s just processing the death of our beloved cat raymond; t...






how do i tell my 6-year-old that the man he knows as ‘mama’s friend’ is really m


(istock)most parents have a skeleton or two in the closet. mine just happens be an ex-husband. long before i met my current one, karl, there was matt, a funny and bighearted guy from ossining, n.y. we were together for five years, most of them spent in couples counseling, yet miraculously parted as friends. more than a decade later, matt and i still get together for lunch or to poke around at estate sales. when my mother died, matt was one of the first people i called.karl knows all about our friendship and has even met matt, a profoundly uncomfortable moment for everyone involved.  my 6-year-old son has met matt, too. to leo, he’s just “mama’s friend matt,” not someone with whom i once shared a home and bank account. leo’s just processing the death of our beloved cat raymond; t...






how do i tell my 6-year-old that the man he knows as ‘mama’s friend’ is really m


(istock)most parents have a skeleton or two in the closet. mine just happens be an ex-husband. long before i met my current one, karl, there was matt, a funny and bighearted guy from ossining, n.y. we were together for five years, most of them spent in couple counseling, yet miraculously parted as friends. more than a decade later, matt and i still get together for lunch or to poke around at estate sales. when my mother died, matt was one of the first people i called.karl knows all about our friendship and has even met matt, a profoundly uncomfortable moment for everyone involved.  my 6-year-old son has met matt, too. to leo, he’s just “mama’s friend matt,” not someone with whom i once shared a home and bank account. leo’s just processing the death of our beloved cat raymond; th...






work environment - how do i respond to racist remarks from a coworker?


you can not fight intolerance with more intolerancethis little pearl of wisdom comes from a friend of mine. sorry for the story, but i think it will help make some sense of this.my wife and i were being married, i ask my friend to be best man. he is black, my wife and i are white. i asked him because of all my friends (i don't have many) he is the one who i felt i could ask the most "husband" questions to. while other friends might judge or make small comments, i felt that he could be a great role model and source of advice for my marriage. one of the things we had to talk about very early on when planning the wedding was my now brother in law. my wife's, half sister's husband (to be exact). he is a racist dirt bag. one of those people that should at least know to keep their mouth shu...






work environment - how do i respond to racist remarks from a coworker?


you can not fight intolerance with more intolerancethis little pearl of wisdom comes from a friend of mine. sorry for the story, but i think it will help make some sense of this.my wife and i were being married, i ask my friend to be best man. he is black, my wife and i are white. i asked him because of all my friends (i don't have many) he is the one who i felt i could ask the most "husband" questions to. while other friends might judge or make small comments, i felt that he could be a great role model and source of advice for my marriage. one of the things we had to talk about very early on when planning the wedding was my now brother in law. my wife's, half sister's husband (to be exact). he is a racist dirt bag. one of those people that should at least know to keep their mouth shu...






ask amy: villa guest confronts illegal drug use


dear amy: this past summer, my best friend of more than 30 years, her 9-year-old daughter, her new husband and others, rented a villa in the caribbean. i was invited to join the group.my friend has always been very self-centered. i’ve always accepted this about her.on the fourth day, i was asked to move into the room with the child. originally my friend said that i may have to do this for one or two nights, but not half the trip. when i tried to mitigate the situation calmly, she pounced. they all ganged up on me after that.however, the worst part of this situation is that while there — in a foreign country — with a child in the house — cocaine was bought, possessed and consumed. my friend had a history of this and had assured me in advance that this would be a “clean vacation.






emily blunt asked husband john krasinski to fire another actress so she could ap


actors emily blunt and john krasinski arrive for a special screening of 'final portrait' in new york, u.s., march 22, 2018.  (reuters) emily blunt has revealed she forced her husband to fire a rival actress in order to make way for her appearance in the film.appearing on the first episode of the new season of the uk’s "the graham nortonshow," blunt, who stars in the horror film "a quiet place," said she initially wasn’t interested in starring in the film and suggested a friend of hers to take the role instead.blunt would not name the actress but described her as a “good friend."the movie was directed and co-written by husband john krasinski.“we had just had our second child (violet) and i was about to do mary poppins and so i was in a sort of gener...






victim of d.c. house fire is identified as ne man


the regionnational zoo’s bobcat remains on the lamearly tuesday morning, zookeepers, police for the national zoo and rescue experts continued to search for the 25-pound female bobcat named ollie.zoo officials have said they received calls from the public with “consistent information” that the animal may be in nearby woodley park or cleveland park.officials warned that ollie is not a house cat and no one should approach the bobcat if they see her. instead, take note of the time and her exact location. anyone with information should call the zoo at 202-633-7362, officials said.— michael ruanethe districtvictim of house fire is identified as ne mana man found dead last week after a fire in a home in the trinidad neighborhood in northeast washington has been identified as awlachew ayele, 66.po